‘There are no scores, no teams, no matches. The stadiums are ruined, falling apart. Today everything happens on television and the radio. The commentators’ false excitement; don’t you ever think it’s all fake? The last game of football played in the capital was on the 24th of the June of ‘37. Since then, football, like the great majority of sports, has been just another kind of theatre, controlled by a man on his own in a booth, or actors wearing team colours in front of a cameraman.’ from Esse Est Percipi in Chronicles of Bustos Domecq. (My translation)
Last (Northern Hemisphere) summer, I amused myself after work by inventing a literary match predictor for the European championship. Incredibly, on the only two occasions it was properly employed, it kind of worked. I remembered it as I was contemplating the extraordinary melodrama of Argentina’s recent win over Peru; an inept, tragic performance redeemed, in rain so hard that one couldn’t see from one side of the pitch to the other (it also flooded my balcony), by a large, many-tattooed striker whose previous claim to fame was once having missed three penalties in a single game, (with this goal he was off-side). Borges was not at all a football fan, its closest mention in Borges being a remark sometime in the sixties on the strange use of the word selección to describe the national team. Bioy Casares was more sporty, but hardly a fanatico. I’m sure that they would both have deplored the melodrama, the astounding incompetence of men on gargantuan salaries, the populism, etc. Although heroism in the pouring rain, by a man named Palermo might just have appealed…
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to bring the predictor back for the last round of World Cup Qualifiers. So this is how it works: Five-a-side, plus subsitutes and a manager, all qualified writers living, dead etc.
The wealth of talent available to the Argentina team is mind-boggling, but Uruguay have some world-class players too. The trick with both would be to get the balance right. Here we go…
Argentina
Manager: Jorge Luis Borges
Attack:
Midfield:
Adolfo Bioy Casares, Silvina Ocampo, Ricardo Piglia
Defence:
Goalkeeper:
Substitutes:
Rodolfo Walsh, Haroldo Conti, César Aira, Alejandra Pizarnik, Alan Pauls (no English wikipedia entry)
Gameplan: Puig plays as an unconventional striker with Ocampo playing as enganche just off him – their complementary but unpredictable styles should in theory have all that it takes to bamboozle the defence. One would assume that Ocampo has an excellent understanding with Bioy Casares, who would play as the classic English style, box-to-box midfielder with the potential to contribute goals. Piglia is the holding midfielder; his all-round understanding of the game being well-suited to the role. At the back, Arlt and Saer should be pretty solid; both have the experience and understanding but also a willingness the get stuck in when it counts. Cortázar is a thinking ‘keeper, most of his playing career having been spent in France, he’s used to the international hurly-burly. The subs’ bench could be thirty times as long. Walsh can consider himself unfortunate that he didn’t get a starting role but should Argentina need to dig deep and fight he’ll be on in a flash. Conti I see as the classically dependable utility-man; he won’t let you down. Aira and Pizarnik are there for their speed and unpredictability – they will both offer something different for ten minutes. Pauls is another unlucky one; he could potentially run the midfield but his time will come.
Uruguay:
Manager:
Attack:
Midfield:
Juan Carlos Onetti, Horacio Quiroga, Felisberto Hernández
Defence:
Eduardo Galeano, Cristina Peri Rossi
Goalkeeper:
Bench: Hugo Burel, Juana De Ibarbourou, Jorge Arbeleche
Gameplan: A shock selection (he qualifies by birth), the Comte de Lautréamont has bags of goals and a reputation to match. But will he last the course? A creative engine of Hernández (much admired by Borges) and Quiroga (not so much – point to prove?), with Onetti screening is absolutely world class. Eduardo Galeano has proven himself defending his team’s interests at the highest level whilst Cristina Peri Rossi once beat Maradona. Carmen Posadas is a safe pair of hands, with lots of overseas experience. I don’t know much about the subs’ bench except that Hugo Burel plays for Lengua de Trapo, a decent recommendation in itself, and the other two come highly rated.
The Match: On paper Argentina should have too much for Uruguay. But – although Borges’ talents as a player were never in doubt, his man-management is pretty questionable, could he organize such a talented but volatile dressing room? He has already caused not a little controversy by leaving out Ernesto Sabato all together. Benedetti seems better suited for the job, his stellar midfield is far more settled, and in Galeano he has a real scrapper. If Uruguay get off to a good start they’ll cause serious consternation.
Prediction: A tight match, but Argentina should have enough, possibly coming off the bench, by the end to win 2-1.
***
I got the margin right! And later the manager came out with kind of comments that, were there a Nobel Prize for football, would very likely guarantee that he would never receive it.
